The January Files 2009

I am not Barack Obama and he DOES NOT approve this message.

I am Frank White, President of the Triad Administration and I DO approve this message, brought to you by the GZA - Cold World video uploaded from You Tube.



Very appropriate for if you living in the world today.

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So ladies & gents, the first month of the last year of the first decade of the new millennium is over. Damn…already? As they say in H-Town, AWWWReady. And for real for real it was anything but uneventful.

There was good news. BARACK OBAMA = IN. W = OUT. Amen to that



There was bad news. 2.6 million jobs loss in 2008. 75,000 jobs lost in a single day in 2009.



There was crazy news. An airplane fell out of the sky and landed safely in the Hudson River, thanks to an old school dude named Sully.



There was a lot of news.

And one of my key jobs as President of the Triad Administration is to put you in the know about things you need to know, cause as you may or may not know, knowing is half the battle. Ya know? Yo Joe. Let’s Go.

Starting with politics…Or as the Triad Admin calls it ParlorTricks. But we have nothing but love for …



President Barack Obama

He definitely has his hands full. Starting with the economy. I will cover that more in depth with my final word. But its serious.

Just as dire is foreign affairs. Troop in two nations. The middle east still beefing. Israel. Iran. Bin Laden. Pakistan.

His cabinet draft picks keeps fallin like Alicia Keys because, well they are rich and rich people (on both sides of the aisle) don’t pay taxes.

And eventually we will have to address health care, education, and energy.
But his thoughtful inclusive approach is a breath of fresh air. As is his emphasis on accountability. So while the days seem dark, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Congratulations, good luck, and God Bless Mr. President.

Speaking of Foreign Affairs…

Pakistan

You will be hearing a LOT about this nation in the upcoming months and years.

Why?
Because if there is in fact a nucleus of terror, its in Pakistan.

How?
To bring you up to speed, when the United States and NATO invaded Afghanistan the focus was to eliminate the Taliban and Al Qaeda forces. Instead they merely pushed them out.

Where?
To Pakistan.

What?
Our allies in Pakistan, would not allow us to follow those forces into the nation. So they were able to lick their wounds and re-tool. Now they are back and stronger than ever in Afghanistan where the US and NATO are fighting them. And they have a home base to retreat to in Pakistan where US and NATO are NOT fighting them, officially that is. Not so officially, we have engaged in covert operations that can only be described as less than successful.

And I haven’t even mentioned the fallout of the Benazir Bhutto assassination in December 07, the nations implication in the November 08 Mumbai Terror Attacks, the ongoing standoff between Pakistan and India or the nuclear weapons Pakistan has in its possession.

So now what?
Do we push into Pakistan knowing that it will be an ugly situation both diplomatically and militarily? We may not have a choice. Without Pakistan we can’t win in Afghanistan and if we can‘t win in Afghanistan we lose the so called War on Terror. And that is the Pandora that is Pakistan.

On a lighter note there is the sideshow that is…

Rod Blagojevich

OK? So what are they saying he did again? Attempted to sell off the senate seat. Ok so maybe that IS corrupt as hell and incredibly stupid. But if hand in hand stupidity and corruption were enough for impeachment, anyone want to talk about the last eight years in the oval office?

All I’m asking is, where exactly is the case? Witnesses, evidence, sting operations. All I’m hearing about are some wire taps of the man talking tough. That’s like getting a drug dealer on the wire talking bout llello (read: yayo aka cocaine, ya dig?) he wants to sell but nobody will buy and then arresting him without the drugs. There’s no case. But this isn’t about justice, its parlor-tricks.

And both sides are tripping…you got

The Republicans

Playing parlor tricks as usual I see:

• Unanimously opposing the Economic Stimulus package in the House.
• Championing “proud hater since 92” Limbaugh as the guiding voice of the party.
• Already discussing Sarah Palin 20i2
• Picking a bootstrappy token black republican to lead the RNC
• And rolling out Dick Cheney's wheelchair so he can ominously plan, I mean predict, a terrorist attack. Why don't you make like Ken Lay and either die or fake your death and disappear, Dick.

This is not the change they need but it is the Grand Ole Party so what can you expect?



As for...

The Democrats

When Dubya was on top, the so called party leadership that was quiet as a mouse. Getting brodied by a lame duck president (read: bullied, strong armed, robbed)on every decision from the surge to the universal children's health care plan - CHIPS. But now there is a Democratic President and all of a sudden they getting gully (read: tough). So that's how they want to carry it?

Grab my man MC Serch and Pete Nice out the crates cause Harry, Harry Reid gets the gas face. Nancy Pelosi shut the F up. What do we think about Nancy - UGHGHGHGH.

DC is a joke, but luckily Jack Bauer is back to take care of things.

24 is BACK



If you don’t know about 24 and Bizzle (read: Jack Bauer aka Bizzle aka CTU number one stunner) by now you don’t know Jack…

So allow me to grab the mic and explain.

(One Two One Two this thing on? )

Bizzle is back and so is Tizzle
Chloe O Brizzle
and my man Bill Bu Kizzle.

CTU’s done
the team on the run.
But government corruption got them grabbing they gun.

On the road DC
facing off with Feebie.
FBI Home turf. Africa come in greasy.

Dubuku ain’t playing
Got the First guy laying
And plans so devious President Lady praying

Who can u trust when surrounded by snitches
When Tizzle so shiesty got fake bones in ditches
Bauer of course giving dirt naps and stitches
24 real time 9pm Tuesday bitches.

Word. It's real in the field.

Or you can watch…

Some Damn Lost


Time traveling island? Your kidding right?

Some Damn Heroes

Yawn.

Some Damn Chuck in 3D.

Chuck? 3D? What?

Not that I watch TV. I watch 24 and...

HBO

Like they say. Its not TV its HBO. There is no better example of that than the Wire, which is no longer on HBO but lives eternally on DVD. To try to describe how great this show is would be impossible. But I will say it’s the realest thing you will ever see about street life on the screen.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT



If you have HBO now you can catch one of my sleeper faves, Big Love about a Mormon dude with 3 wives and 99 other problems. Or one of Madam Sec’s faves Flight of the Concords about 2 bummed out Australian dudes who make wackass music in NYC. Ummm yeah. Just trust the Administration on this one. Or you can listen to the clowns who give you…

Awards Season

Me personally. I don’t care about old young Brad Pitt or naked Kate Winslet with bush under her arms or Mickey Rourke’s scary looking ass jumping off the top rope or gay Sean Penn. I don’t care about no Young Wheezy or Tip “off the jakes with the mic in the pimp cup” Harris or Viva La Cornball Coldplay or Miley Ray Cyrus or the Joneses Boys. I don’t care. I don’t care.

Iron Man was kinda hot. It was good to see Indy back but damn son. Dark Knight was still Batman number 86, no matter how you try to slice it. Will “Smitty” Smith had not one but two clown ass roles. And they hit us with SAW number 5. So here’s an idea. Don’t give out no awards this year and come back with some real original entertainment in 2009. Instead of talking bout foolishness like...


Michael Phelps smoked weed



In the immortal words of Dave Chappelle, "So the f*ck what."

Or…

Jessica Simpson is fat



She’s not fat. I don’t even know if she’s "curvy" but there is nothing wrong with curves. Curves are hot. Unfortunately that outfit is not. But its not that big a deal. Get over it.

Speaking of curves…



Serena Williams wins again

My favorite female athlete of all time continues her total dominance of the tennis world and continues to tease me with those thick thighs, tantalizing tata’s, and that primal grunt when she’s lets out when she gets in a zone. I wonder if she makes…actually I think the presidential thing would be to keep that to myself.

Anyway almost time to wrap this up. So…

Mad Love to…

Viva Las Vegas with The Triad

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Or gets held off for the next blog at least.

Pittsburgh Steelers winning the Super Bowl

My preseason Super Bowl pick won the title doing what they’ve managed to do all year. Win the toughest games by being the toughest. Shoutout to the Steelers for one of the grittiest seasons ever and the NFL for one of the craziest.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

We do on March 6th, 2009 thanks to Warner and Fox doing the right thing like Spike Lee and coming to terms so everybody wins.

Lebron & Kobe

Beating up the New York Knicks on back to back nights like Ike beat Tina. Beasting it yo. The NBA ain't safe. Here's hoping they meet in the NBA Finals for one of the illest showdowns ever.

No Love for…

Wayne talks to Katie Couric

“I’m a rapper Katie and I’m a gangster.” If by gangster you mean coon, that’s pretty accurate.

Snow in Carolina

I hate snow. Period.

Dirty Urine

Watch your nuts Barry, they coming to get them.

Dyslexic Love for…

ZPizza

We kind of hot right now over at Zpizza. Organic pizzas like that Chicken Sausage & Arugula Rustica. Gourmet Salads like the Pear & Gorgonzola. Gluten Free Crust. Soy Cheese. Two for Tuesday. What can I say? The fiends love us.

On the other hand. Arugula? Gorgonzola Cheese? Gluten Free Crust? Soy Cheese? I feel like I'm handling plutonium or enriched uranium not making pizzas. Make one mistake and the fallout might be atomic. Almost as hard as presidenting.

Notorious

Shout out to the Notorious Biggie Smalls and his lovely mother Voletta. But I’m not putting anymore money in Sean Combs pocket for anything brought to you by the letters B, I, G, and the number one as in of all time. As for Lil Kim, I ain’t had no respect for her since she had to get her stomach pumped in Baltimore back in 96.

YA HEARD???

And now for the final word on…

The Economic Stimulus Package

You probably DO know that the economy is in tough shape right now. Pink slips. Foreclosures. Wall Street Blues. Etc.

Word on the cyber street is that this is the modern day great depression. And the only thing that can save us is at least 800 billion dollars of tax payer money in the form of The Economic Stimulus Package (ESP).

But what you may be asking yourself, really? Well yes and know. Allow me to break it down as to what’s really real in terms of the state of the economy and the fight to fix it.

JOBS JOBS JOBS

Without jobs people can’t make money, if they can’t make money, they can’t pay rent or car notes, or buy goods and services. As a result homes get foreclosed, so the housing industry goes under. Banks don’t get the money for loans they need to make more loans, so they go under. And companies that make goods don’t make the money they need to employ the people they have nor the demand for goods and services to continue to make and sell more stuff, so they begin to go under.

The bad news is it’s gonna get worse because companies imported and made more stuff, in preparation for Christmas, that they didn’t sell. So now they have too much product, not nearly enough demand, and they don’t need the amount of people they staff to sell the stuff they have. And the definitely don’t need to make or get new stuff. So you’ll see more layoffs and cut in hours.

As a result the main purpose of the ESP is to create jobs. Shovel ready jobs that can put people to work right now. The main focus is infrastructure, because ours is crumbling from old buildings to old bridges to old roads to old power grids. This not only puts people to work but solves pressing issues.

But the real fight is over the future.

The Dems want to use this opportunity to fund projects like the arts, science discovery programs such as astronomy and oceanography, and of course environment friendly green jobs.

The Republicans say these programs won’t impact the present economy, by creating immediate jobs and should be shelved for a later date, and instead want to use Tax Cuts to stimulate the private sector who they believe are the foundation for job creation.

For real for real we’ve been doing tax cuts for corporations the last eight years and we are where we are. Our information and transportation infrastructure is a joke. And artists and oceanographers need jobs too so they can pay their bills and buy stuff like everybody else.

Taxes

Out tax structure is so complicated that nobody knows how much they pay and what they are paying for. And the people who do know, don’t pay taxes…until they try to get a cabinet position that is. Ba Bum Bum. Thanks I’ll be here all week.

But seriously, tax relief is considered by conservatives a sure fire way to get money back into the pockets of people and business. And the theory is that money back into the people’s pockets allows them to buy things. Meanwhile money back in the private sectors pockets allows them to invest in both markets and people, thus lifting the market and creating jobs.

The problem is that right now with the economy so volatile people and businesses are saving and paying bills, so the money gets absorbed without being put back into the economy. So do you give a bigger tax cut and hope for it to be enough to be saved AND spent, at the cost of a bigger debt. Or do you keep it moderately helpful, knowing it won’t jump start the economy in any substantial way? 8 years of tax cuts, would seem to answer that. Then again, everything was so mismanaged maybe it would work, with a different execution. Namely if paired with a more fair, and less complicated tax code.

Markets

Nobody has money, so nobody is buying or making anything. Loans are on freeze so no body is investing in anything. And nobody knows what’s gonna happen., so the futures look bleak. The markets are a reaction of what’s going on, so until jobs start being created, and banks start lending, markets are reflecting the troubled economy and its many woes.

Banking

Here is the game as it was played. Lend a dollar Get a dollar plus interest. Lend a dollar get another dollar plus more interest. Now its leverage lent dollars plus the unpaid interest to create inflated value for investments then pray for profits. So when the profits don’t come back plus job loss prevents people from paying back loans and interest. Uh oh trouble.

Bank of America and City Group alone have shrunken from a collective value of over 500 billion dollars in November 2007 to just over 50 billion dollars today thanks to over leveraging and bad assets. So as a result they aren’t trying to loan money, as not to over leverage or collect bad assets. But if they don’t loan money, the economy doesn’t flow regardless of weather people have jobs or not.

Think of it like this. The money is the blood. The people are the body. And the markets are the brain. It doesn’t matter how healthy the body or the brain is. If the heart doesn’t pump the blood, nothing works and everything else dies. That’s why we can’t let the bank system fail.

It more than anything needs the electric paddles to jumpstart it. And that seems to be in the form of government intervention. Namely money and sound strategy for how to spend the money, regulate the mismanagement of debt, and restructure the bad assets.

Housing Crisis

This is the proverbial needle in the haystack. When markets over extend themselves in the name of greed, turning something tangible - LIKE A PERSONS HOME or ENERGY FOR THOSE HOMES, into something financially intangible - LIKE A DERIVITIVE, the fallout is always worse than expected.

Reason being derivatives have no value. It's not backed by gold. Its monopoly money. And people’s homes have infinite value, they go beyond just dollars and cents. So when homes start foreclosing, banks don’t get paid, and people start living on the street.

Things go into crisis mode, because fear and panic start setting in, which is the worst thing that can happen on Wall Street & Main Street. So it is important to do what ever is necessary to stop the bleeding because the most import aspect of this economic uncertainty is…

PSYCHOLOGY

Banks stop lending because they are scared. Jobs stop hiring because they are scared. People stop spending because they are scared. But the economy can’t afford for any of the above to happen. Much less all of them at the same time. That is why it is so important for people to know the truth about what is going on and possible solutions to fixing these problems. More savings, less credit. Continue to shop but be more fiscally responsible. Live within your means as opposed to keeping up with the joneses. The economy has problems. But they are not insurmountable. They just take due diligence and innovation as opposed to the same old playbook.

The government however has to understand that they are the leaders of this great nation so they have to act swiftly to respond to the fears of the people and create confidence by speaking truthfully but in a positive light. No is not the time for politics as usual. Now is the time to bring people together and put their best foot forward. Fight behind closed doors but stand unified before this great nation.

United we stand, divided we fall.

The Triad Speaks. Till next time remember I am not Barack Obama and he did not approve this message. I am the Triad Administration President Frank White and I did.