So funny I have to post it on my space...I mean facebook. Peace
GEEZ O BLACK'S TOP PICKS OF 2009
With the first pick I select Alex Rodriguez!! , yes Alex has made his mistakes but then again who hasn’t? The important thing to remember is he admitted his mistakes. Alex and I have a lot in common he is not the only cheater to ever cheat. In fact I too, like Alex have cheated. In my Geometry class I was caught cheating and I called a press conference to convince everyone I was sorry for cheating. In the press conference I had a written statement that I read off of. In this statement I stated that I was sorry. I mentioned how my cousin Neez aka The Black Ray Gilligan helped me cheat as he gave me a duplicate test with all the answers to the test that I was taking. Ironic it happened in 2003 around the time Alex Rodriguez was getting stuck with the ROIDs in his ass by his cousin Holio Alfonzo. I stated that I was young, naive, and stupid I mean I didn’t know that having a duplicate test was considered cheating; honestly I thought you could get those at your local library. I ask everyone to judge me from here on, I haven’t cheated since then, on second thought I haven’t got caught cheating since then, and I vow never to cheat again or get caught cheating again. So Alex I am proud of you for coming clean as I did. Don’t let me down come October CHAMP (pun intended).
Now for my second pick I select LeBRON James AKA the KING. I am now announcing that I am clearing cap space for LeBRON James for 2010. One might ask why would LeBrone sign with you GEEZE. well I do live in Greensboro such a great market for Black people in college, Lebron could be my spokesman, I do know Frank White the President, and Lebron would flourish under my style of play clear the hell out the way, Lebron go straight to the hole No jumpers, please No jumpers. One might ask how are you going to acquire Lebron for all that cash? Well I am getting rid of a lot of assets, and in fact here’s a list.
My 20$ TV
My Stephon Marbury rookie card that was worth more when he was a rookie then it is now DAMNIT
My XX3 Carolina blue Jordan sneakers that may or may not be real
My authentic Gilbert Arenas jersey (Gilbert where are you I miss you?)
My broke ass Pontiac (wait that’s already sold) Whamp Whamp
My CPU that got struck by lightning, im sure the fiends could use it and put it in their cart or something.
My ankle brace that I used in 01, who wouldn’t want a sweaty ankle brace from the GEEZE
My green dice fitted hat. I am convinced this was the worst purchase I have ever made, anybody want it?
My Dookie brown t-shirt with the #8 on it and Sanders on the back of the shirt (this is exclusive)
My Lacoste sun glasses that clearly states made in China hint hint
My Kanye West Late registration cd (good CD but I know longer affiliate with KANGAY)
My Broke ass vacuum cleaner that picks up absolutely nothing.
The last Capri son in my refrigerator from the summer of 2007
My Barrack Obama New York Times election winning newspaper (its gonna be a classic in 30 years right, right.)
My T.J Ford Bucks jersey another dumb buy (what can I say I like jersey’s)
My PS 2 that no longer plays DVD, damn thing almost kept me from seeing the Wire Madam Secretary appreciate the dvd player!!!
Last but not least I have an authentic Green Bay white road jersey (since he retired it’s an instant throwback jersey, or maybe you should wait till august to see if he comes back)
So here I come LeBron, im clearing space just like everybody else, I’m giving up bad assets and some good assets I’m sure the New York Knicks, Brooklyn Nets, Cleveland Cavaliers and the list goes on and on will hate me after I pull off the biggest signing in history.(THE KING)
My 3rd and last pick is BARACK HUESEIN OBAMA. There’s been a lot of hoopla about the stimulus package that Barack is trying to get passed and the greasy ass republicans are drinking way to much haterade. Well I am one to agree with the stimulus because we need it. But I am asking you Barack if you can give the GEEZE a stimulus package. I am broke thanks to George W Bush aka the worst president ever. I know the greasy ass republicans will be mad and they will say it’s too much pork in the GEEZE’S package, but do like you’ve been doing don’t listen to a damn thing they have to say. Well here’s a list of what I the GEEZE need in my stimulus package.
1. I need a hot maid with a uniform that has a short skirt and preferable big natural hooters and a Russian accent with the -30 degree Russian Skully hat on her head.
2. I also need a snitch cause just like Barack and Frank White I don’t trust the Russians
3. I need a black midget with a psychology degree.(his advice is creditable if he can overcome the psychological disadvantage of being a midget and black in America)
4. I need a 3 foot Penguin to keep me company. He can live in my crib since I no longer put the heat on. (WTF Piedmont Natural Gas)
5. I need a big ass painting of Pugachev the great, ( he was a fake ass Russian king go read your history book if you don’t know him) What a cool name Pugachev
6. I need that new Chevy volt, I’ll keep it real ,and tell GM if in fact this new whip they are putting out is another wack ass car.
7. I need a Parrot that only speaks fluent Ebonics, words such as Yo, Word up G, what’s good, chillen, holla at me, and of course Mutha Fucka are required to know.
8. I need a free lifetime supply of Z pizza and free delivery. I’m sure the owner Steve would piss in his pants if this was a federal mandate especially since I live 100 miles away from Raleigh(what can I say I love pizza ,and they have the best pizza in NC)
9. I need the Government to take George Washington off of the quarter and put Obama’s face on it (this will always remind black people you can do anything!! Obama’s face can’t be on the dollar bills because like myself we don’t have dollars the quarter will do just fine.
Barack you are my sleeper pick in the 2009 draft I’m counting on you to get this stimulus package passed. But in all seriousness the real stimulus needs to get passed so people can get back to work. If the stimulus doesn’t work well I will Blame George W Bush. Barack in my eyes can do no wrong; Barrack is like OJ in 94 black people are behind him no matter what. Barack there are two exception to this rule; you are not allowed to beat up your wife (I love Michele) like Chris Brown or cheat on your wife like Bill Clinton. And since I have full confidence that you won’t do anything like that, you will always be in good graces with me and black people. Finally to elaborate on my statement about OJ I no longer support OJ anymore, OJ is a fool, to bring it back to Ebonics I DON’T F WITH OJ.
Well there you have my top 3 draft picks for 2009 Alex Rodriguez, LeBron James, and Barack Obama.
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